Forever

Helpless
Watching
Wishing I could take this from you
But we all have our process of becoming
We are a process of becoming

I want you to know
That this universe
Would not be the same
Without you
In it
My universe
Would not be the same
Without you
In it

Hold on
When the world is spinning
When stars are colliding
And asteroids flaring
Hold on

Hold my gaze
I’m here for you
We share this burden
We share it all

You are not a cold and desolate desert
You are not a forgotten universe
Nor a lonely storm
A cavern lost
Or curious exhibition

No, we are connected
I am affected by you
As you are impacted, so am I impacted by you
When you experience joy or sorrow or anything in between
Something shifts in your environment
You cannot be unheard
Your suffering is not unnoticed
Even your silence leaves echoes

Though your wrestle may be internal
You are not an isolated body
Disconnected from an insensitive world
No
We are intrinsically bound
Forever here for you

 

Hospital

A hospital is a place that exposes us
Where we leave our comforts at the door
Our fears come to the fore
And we cannot ignore
the tangibility, the physicality and the fragility of life

We experience so deeply what it is to be human
To need breath, to need balance; both integration and compensation of a complexity of systems

A hospital is like the cordial without the water
So concentrated in the essence of our existence
The extremes of birth, sickness, healing and death all held within those doors

And beyond those doors, I could be anywhere
Despite the schedules and the consistency,
I feel timeless and suspended
Hanging in my own questions
As some answers float around me

But sometimes I just don’t know anymore.
There are things that none of us know
Like if they’re going to make it through the night
Why bad things happen to good people
Or if the suffering will really be worth it one day

And a constant question of: where does the love come from when we have nothing left to give? Because somehow, the love just keeps on giving.

A body houses hearts and whole networks of veins and arteries, encased in skin, both new and old…
A hospital houses loved ones, so much more than bodies.
So where did he go when his body turned cold?
I don’t really know.
In hospitals,
Hearts are restarted, and broken ones mended.
But right now, my heart is left undone.